How do we value ourselves as men? This question comes from a conversation I had with some female. She said that she values herself high enough to weed out anything below her. Anything that will taint her image, dignity, pride and honour she effectively removes without thinking twice. Analysing her words and how she measures her worth, one would say she measures it through the eyes of the Church. That as a child of the Risen King, she will walk like a Princess she rightfully is.
For men, do we measure ourselves the same way? More especially for the male who doesn’t go to church or who doesn’t use religion as a yardstick to measure his worth. How do we than value ourselves? Many men confess that they will make money by any means necessary. Some men tell you that a woman is a woman, if you have her you have her. Somehow, the energies that men of this nature give off is somewhat not powerful. In the sense that, as a student of power, when in the presence of a wealthy man who made his wealth in one field or a married man who has a had one woman for decades, somehow these men emit so much power. Yet they do not boost those ideologies that pop society teaches men; that men can pride themselves in.
Yes, it is true that a man who can get women more frequently somehow does intimidate the average man who can not. One needs to be a man to be able to attract and seduce a woman. A man needs strength for this. But strength isn’t power. A man can be strong willed and be the guy known for accomplishing the impossible but the moment a man of power steps into the field, that man who seems to have incredible strength shrivels into a being a worm. And most often or not, powerful men need not pursue women. They sit back in a position where the women pursue them. It is foolish to believe that these women are moral-less because the women that pursue these powerful men know their worth so well that they will not waste it on men below them. It is extreme backward thinking to think women are these flowers that are so frail to the touch. Because even when encaptivated by the woman, the powerful man suddenly becomes a slave to the charm of this woman and he will, in all his power, elevate this woman from being a Princess to being a Queen. Think of Cleopatra.
But the question remains, how do we value ourselves as men? I have a friend who is fairly handsome. Well built and very intelligent. The kind of man who on a good day, gets all the girls to turn their heads. But the irony being that, he does not acknowledge this power that he has. He doesn’t have that power that comes from success or wealth. Its that power that emits from having a very virile body. The energy he gives as a man, to the female its overwhelming. I find it rare when I am with him for a female not to turn her head to take a closer look at him. Yet this friend of mine has no acknowledgement of this power. I once indicated to him that most of these females around us want him. And very calmly he said he doesn’t want them. One would think that at this moment, his withdrawal will make him only more attractive. The reverse happened that after time, women no longer cared about him. Some thinking he is gay and not into women yet in our quiet times my friend will share with me fantasies and desires he has about females. Here you find someone who’s power stems from being naturally good looking, but because he’s not aware of his worth, he undervalues himself and eventually in the eyes of females- he becomes worthless.
There’s another guy who I know. He’s not my friend but through mutual friends, I have spent enough time in his presence to gain somewhat an idea of the person he is. Again, he’s power doesn’t come from wealth or success. He isn’t well built either but he can be regarded being handsome. But he has a false sense of his worth in the sense he overvalues himself. The kind of guy who wears overly formal clothes all day every day. The kind that sees himself as a King and nothing less yet he behaves like that court Joker. He is the guy that chases women and women never chase him. Even though he is fairly successful in seducing the women he pursues, in the company of men he doesn’t have the honour to command attention. It is as if he forces his masculinity and the price tag on it to be seen. Even the women he pursues do not make a man ask himself if he’s worthy enough to be in her presence. He pursues the women who themselves fake their worth and are content with whatever masculine energy entertains them. I believe for such the male, he is on the right path. Because the economics of his nature will balance to an equilibrium that is high enough due to the over pricing of his worth. To be in the counsel of real men and the courtship of real women, this is the platform needed for the overconfident and overvalued men.
The last group of men are the men one wishes to be in. There are quite a number of men archetypes but it is within this three I wish to remain in. The last group of men are the cool, confident men. They need not force their masculinity and power. They are the not so handsome, not so wealthy but the energy from within they give off is so captivating that even females become enthralled by it. They have ascended higher than being powerful. They are a mystery. An enigma that forever makes one wonder about them. They are the men that women do not pursue because women are intimidated by this powerful masculine force. But in their quiet times, these men are the only men that these women think about. These are the men that when in the counsel of other men, their presence is felt and needs no announcement. They are the cool guys who the coolness is the only unit of measure to value them. They are more than that though. A friend of mine who falls in this category, when in conversation with him, one realises he is the kind of man who never stops growing. Even stops enhancing his mind and is dead honest with the nature of who he is. This deep connection with self enables him to be this enigma that as a man, you feel honoured by his presence. This group of men is few. This group of men like the enigmas that they are, they play on the fantasises of both males and females. One wonders why do they have so much power in their presence yet they make no effort for their power to be seen? They are the crème de la crème of masculinity in my opinion and they are the class of men which as males should aspire to.
The ability to be honest with one’s own self I believe is what puts the worth on your name. The more honest you are with yourself, the more valuable you will be. Because from being honest with oneself, the channels to release your true nature will flow and emit into the world. Being a Christian man, I see that we are made in His Image. Therefore, when we are honest with who we are, the Image of His nature in you will manifest and this is something every important to note. Jesus did not want to go to the cross but He knew within Himself that He had to go. He was honest with himself about the reality facing Him. Taking this in the context of today, as men we have desires, goals and dreams we want fulfilled. The degree of them, this idea is to great to even consider possible. Some will undervalue themselves so much that the opportunity, the moment in which he could have attained the pleasure of fulfilling their heart’s desires, passes them by. They will be content with this and claim that it was might to be- yet secretly regret not acting in time. The other kind of men will be so confident that they foolishly settle of less believing that through them, the desires of their hearts have been satisfied. This foolish thinking has many men operating below themselves. In thinking they are the diamonds that have fallen from the heavens, they are actually the moissanite that litter the Earth.
It is with interactions we have with people and importantly, women that we can value ourselves as men. The value of worth can only be reliably measured by the class we settle for. Within the company we keep, or the women we pursue. Through this, once engaged in a thorough honest introspection of self, we will be able to accurately value ourselves as men and open the window to see where we need to improve and where we need to root the pollutants that taint our value. Through this, we will know our true worth.