We want to succeed in our respective fields of choice in life. Will it be wrong to assume than that each living being has a purpose that they wish to attain? Aren’t we all living for a greater purpose in life that compels us to stay awake and keep fighting the good fight even when the fight is no longer good?
The basis of this questioning derives from the sole fact that everyone one encounters and asks about their greatest desire, it usually involves a certain degree of “higher than life” living. It could be that the respective person desires money that is great and mighty. It could be that a person wants knowledge that will open him or her up to the secrets of the universe. Or it could be that a person desires only a peaceful life of leisure where stress and worry do not exist. We all have the picture of a perfect existence that we wish to manifest in our lives. This manifestation is what many call success.
Even though, this desire for a perfect existence exists in almost everyone, not everyone dies having lived it. Interesting to read books as old as Napoleon Hill’s ‘Think and Grow Rich’ and he too tells that the majority of people go into the next stage of living without having lived the lives of their dreams. The world we live in today, one can easily find people living lives that others dream of simply by the use of their cellphones and posting pictures of themselves on the internet. Others make great financial income by merely playing their childhood games such as tag. Their earnings are so good that those earnings can rival the person who tolled intense years of education just to obtain qualifications for a “decent job”.
The world we live in today promises the great opportunities to become whoever one desires to be. Yet, with this great freedom that exists, the fact remain that many go to their deathbeds with their dreams ready to escort them into the afterlife. How does this phenomena happen? What drives the human to settle for a life that they originally did not dream of? It is quite common to meet a fellow friend and discuss matters of tomorrow. With some friends, their focus remains undeterred. Most of my friends only desire one thing: that is to become millionaires before turning 30. Let us say that it is 15 of my friends that desire this objective in life. Out of this 15, 8 only talk about making a millionaire before 30. When they talk, they talk with great valour as to how they will make the million. They talk with confidence how they will find the code that will generate their millions. Yet they have no actions that is backing their talk. And because this is just talk, one can feel that they will never materalise the millions they so desperately seek.
Out of the 7 friends left, the remaining 5 also talk about their dreams and commit to the actions that might generate millions for them before turning 30. These actions they are committed too though, are not well planned. They lack the foundations for a solid building to be erected on. One friend of mine spoke of how he wants to create a system to fund students out of high school to get them into university. This friend of mine has no experience in the financial market. He has no qualifications in the financial market. He has no solid plan as to how his program will work. But he is so adamant that his funding system will work. He fails to see the need of finding expert advice on the matter to help him succeed. All 5 of the 15 who fall under this criteria suffer the same flawed thinking. This group is quick to quote the success stories of legends like Steve Jobs, Bill Gates and the likes. They are quick to tell you that “it all began as a dream” but fail to see the steps that those legends took to manifest the dream. Most of these people will tell you that Elon Musk dropped out of university to pursue his dream. Failing to realise that Elon Musk was already a graduate and dropped out in his postgrad years. They are quick tell you about the success of Apple. But fail to see that Steve Jobs had multiple part time jobs in the early computer industry days to learn how to create the first personal computer with Steve Wozniak. This dangerous thinking has trapped many into the illusion of their dreams. Their guideless visions of a grander future will ultimately lead to their downfall.
This group of people is very active in their thinking. My friend, with the goal of creating the education fund, has actively went to various banks with a very poorly written proposal to get them on board. And with no shock to the results, all the institutions declined his proposal. At this point, the wise will take the time to understand why he has been declined and take the time to learn and understand how he can turn the situation around. He, however, has not. Because he, like many who fall under this category, believe that people do not understand his dream. He believes that the problem isn’t his poor proposal in content and presentation, but it is instead the system at large. “These white corporations don’t want to see a black boy fly.” Many in this category blame external factors for the failures and the obstacles in their path to the manifestation of their dreams.
What could be the inspiring force behind this thinking? Is the behaviour of this force like over-confidence? Could it be called over-belief? It is good to believe in a particular dream. Belief breeds hope. Hope promises a better tomorrow. When does belief than turn into a burden in life? When does belief turn into a curse that breeds destruction into one’s future aspirations? The friends that fall into this category believe, strongly, that their dreams will manifest into existence. They are the 32 year old rappers who will tell you that one day will be their day to shine. “They locked in the stu’”. The ‘stu’ (studio) a sad excuse of a microphone attached to a dying laptop locked away into a wardrobe, a wardrobe layered with egg carton boxes. Seeing this image in person, is seeing the entrapment of a human’s soul. The wardrobe metaphors into this monster that consumes on the soul of the person. Locked in the ‘stu’, the person fails to see that they are locked into a bottomless pit of despair.
This category of individuals are ones that I find most intriguing. They are caught between the middle of the losers and winners. The losers are like the first category of individuals we discussed. The telling signs of any loser is the extent of how much talk they can talk. The winners, the last category of individuals we are yet to discuss, they hardly talk and they are all action. So much so that their talk is in alignment with their actions. This category of those in-between are difficult to understand. Another friend of mine told me that he wants to own a chain of well-established restaurants in the heart of QwaQwa. This friend of mine has no experience in business. He has no relevant qualifications, let alone any qualifications. Yet, with confidence that rivals David when he threw that rock, he is adamant that indeed he will get the capital and means to start this chain of restaurants- in the next six months! He is not a close friend of mine but he is close enough that I know that he is too ambitious in his aspirations. And even so, he is the type that if you were to critique his motives, he will call you negative and brand you a naysayer.
This brings me to another friend of mine who had aspirations of beginning a cab service in QwaQwa. Full of ambition (and capital) she started her business. She consulted with me in the first three months of her operations and quickly I told her that unless she changes her strategy, her business will not survive. She began to give me a lecture on negativity and how that will not help her. She gave me a regurgitation of ‘The Power of Positive Thinking’ by Dr. Norman Peale and told me of the many businesses that were told will never work but eventually did. Last month, she sold off her last cab due to the lack of support in the business. Failing to see that she anaylsed the market wrong, she blames her failure on the notion that “black people don’t support each other.” Therefore, such an individual did not learn from experience thus it is highly likely that she will fail again in her next venture.
The last group, the winners, are the focused ones in life. The last 2 of the 15 of my friends are the ones who speak and act. They are the ones that when they fail, they learn and will not suffer defeat twice from the same blow. This group are the winners who one can feel that indeed they will become millionaires by the time they turn 30. They do not spread the false image of success on their social media pages. One person I know that falls into this category once told me that even though most people fake the lives they live on social media, the fact they have access to those riches pains him. The other lady I know told me that she envies the 21 year olds from America who travel all over the world. Even though at the back of her mind she knows that the life they are projecting could possibly be fake, the fact that someone out there is possibly living that life gets to her. I don’t blame her. Because these people are working so hard to live that life, it sometimes weighs heavy on them that someone else is already living that with less the effort. But the focus is laser sharp. Their minds fixed on the conceptualization and manifestation of their dreams that even though others may be fighting the good fight with tricks up their sleeve, they remain focused.
My friend once told me an interesting story. He said that to see where a man’s mind is, you have to see where his standards on beauty lie. He told me not to make the error of thinking because a girl is ‘woke’ or is deemed low in the eyes of society that, should limit one’s critique on a man’s mind. Because, using a girl we know, he said that sometimes a girl could be the total opposite to the standards of society but be living the life envied by society. This girl we know is the kind that wears very short skirts, wears very glossy shoes that don’t match and hardly wears a bra. And she’s a full African woman. Yet this female, with her own sweat, has amassed great fortune that many envy. This female is only 23 years old but already living the life that most 40 year old females only dream off. My friend told me that if a guy sees such a girl as a threat but sees the typical first year student who has nothing to her name yet as a potential mate, that should tell you where that guy’s mind is focused. The female a male desires speaks highly of his will and aspirations in life he said.
As he went on with his bizarre theory, it made my mind wander deeper into it. I know a couple of females who are very independent but remain single. Their common excuse for the single life is that they fail to find the right man who is on their level. I’m not discussing females like the one mentioned above who is already knocking on a million at age 23. I’m discussing the single mother who has a master’s degree to her name working an under paying job for her qualification. I’m discussing the third year student with the mind power to rival any doctor or philosopher. These females all cry out there isn’t any man on their level who will build her and challenge her to be better. The few guys who reach their level, they give off an aura that screams power and success. This logic, as twisted as it is, reminded me of an interview I once watched. To be precise, this interview was part of a mini-documentary on Nicki Minaj. Most see Nicki Minaj as the female rapper who fulfills most men’s fantasies and if we use society’s standards, we could go further and say that she is cheap and she just got lucky. However, in that interview, Nicki Minaj was furious about a deal that went wrong. Paraphrasing what she said, she yelled that she is treating herself as a Queen and those promoters want to treat her like a girl who drinks pickle juice. This statement stood out so clearly and explained how these “baddies” do not go out with average men. The men these “baddies” go out with are men with established power and credentials to match the “baddie”. One such female in an interview about the blesser-blesse culture said that she has invested too much in herself to go out with men who still needs to call their mothers for a monthly allowance. Mind you, this female was 25 years of age at the time of the interview. Her “blesser” was a 28 year old banker in Sandton. The man is extremely young yet his financial and professional gains has graduated him into the upper echelons of life. At age 28, even though a blesser, he lives the life that men in their retirement only ever dreamt about.
This led me to understand why these 2 of my 15 friends suffer the most from isolation than the other 13 of the 15 of my friends. Only a few can match their level in thinking power to succeed. Only a few can match their drive in the ability to be persist in their aspirations to be millionaires by 30. It is mind blowing to witness the power of mental fortitude that these 2 friends of mine have in their drive to be millionaires by 30. I believe the qualities they possess also translate to other winners who have different motives to succeed in life. They remain misunderstood by the rest of the population because they simply do not behave in the same way. They only talk when acting or after they have acted and never before like the 5 who are talkers- the losers. They are not lost in their ambitions and aspirations and fall into the trap of over confidence and over belief in their dreams like the others. They are a special breed destined for success. They are the ones that welcome criticism that builds them but will tell you that they reject all forms of negativity; even the 7pm news that continues to highlight more on the problems we facing as a nation and not on the victories we are achieving. This group of people can distinguish the difference between someone building them by showing them their errors and someone crushing their being by rubbing in their errors like salt into a wound.
I’d believe we all want to fall into the last category. I believe we all want to be the enigmas that people wonder how we were able to manifest our dreams and desires. Napoleon Hill found that 98% of people can be classified as ‘failures’ in life. Thus, it tells us that in this world, people are readily willing to submit to defeat than to overcome it. Therefore, for us to be winners, the remaining 2%, it means that we need a different form of thinking. A thinking that is focused and undeterred by the external world. A thinking wired for success and the attainment of our purpose.