Is it Worth it?

Is it worth it? This life that we have chosen to live. Is it worth it? Why is it that we want to live a life above average? Is there a purpose to it?

Lately, I have been honoured to move and begin life in a new city. The adjustment has been fairly swift and life-changing, to say the least. For the first time in a very long time, I have my own space and within that space, I can be me. There are no restrictions or judgements in the expression of self. As such, my need to succeed seems to have taken a steroid or two. In doing so, I put more pressure on myself to succeed than I ever have in my life.

However, on some nights, I wonder if it is worth it. Is it worth sacrificing certain pleasures of this world in the name of success? Is it worth facing the cold embrace of loneliness because the world around me does not understand this path that I have chosen? Yes, this is not a path of the extremist who alienates himself or herself by their extreme beliefs. This is the life of saying no to a night out because to you it’s a waste of money. This is the life of saying no to date because to you that is a waste of time. The argument could be that one should enjoy life as they have only one. However, I have never heard a Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant, Barack Obama, or anyone who has attained great success confess those YOLO philosophies.

Those YOLO philosophies are propagated by those who have chosen a “sof’ life”. They are the leeches who feed off others successes. They are the rich kids who have had the world’s treasures and pleasures always at their fingertips. In the same breath, the YOLO philosophies are propagated by those who have accepted life as is. These are the ones that life has been kind to and life has given them the sheer basics to survive. A basic apartment, basic clothes, basic food and a basic car. Those basics provide them with enough to live another day. They are content with their basic existence. This basic life is not for us.

So we crawl into cold beds at night, hoping that one day our work ethic will afford us a king-size bed covered in fine linen. We stir the Movite and milk hoping that our sacrifices will one day afford us grade A steaks that we will enjoy on a regular basis. We endure the internal battles of today’s disciplines so that we enjoy the sweet fruits of tomorrow’s victories. We take comfort in the fact that there are those that have walked this path before. We learn their footsteps and try our best to emulate their steps so that we can reach the same heights of success they did.

When asked why is that we want this life, most of us want it for one reason: freedom. Freedom to live life the way we see fit. You cannot go to Mount Fuji with an empty bank account. You cannot ride the sand dunes of Dubai with a zero balance. A ticket to travel has a price tag that is measured in an economic currency. Therefore we take it upon ourselves to learn how to accumulate economic wealth to afford the things that have a price tag.

You cannot desire to be with a Queen yet you conduct yourself as the village joker. You cannot desire to be a King yet you treat yourself as a slave. It takes time learning one’s own masculinity and takes even more time learning how to be confident in your masculinity. In the same light, I have come to realise that it takes even greater time to learn how to express your masculinity in full honesty of self. I believe the same can be said about feminity. Without taking the time to learn one’s own sexuality, it is easy to fall into living a second childhood. We see it with the 40-year-old buying 20-year-olds drinks so that he can win approval ‘among the guys’. The time it takes to understand one’s self is spent in churches, zen temples or on yoga mats. The discipline therefore to spend that time in these holy places not everyone can endure.

Fundamentally, this is the life that we have decided to live. It is not for everyone and that is why not everyone gets the privilege to live in absolute freedom. We admire those that have succeeded in life because they are in a position to enjoy life to the fullest. They are the ones who go on vacations in February. They are the ones who go out on Tuesdays. They are the ones who when faced with the option of saying no only do so if that option is not to their taste. Their no is not restricted by time or money. That freedom is the freedom we desire.

It is comforting to learn that those that have attained that freedom, the burden of the disciplines that one is experiencing now, was the price they paid. We walk by faith and not by sight. Faith will lead us to our freedoms. This belief is enough for us to continue marching onwards to our dreams.