People are always quick to render an opinion of sorts. My sister would say that people love to comment. Fundamentally, all humans are prone to this behaviour. Hence, they teach lessons such as first impressions count. Lessons such as being “presentable” when going for an interview. It is human nature to be judgemental and it requires a great degree of self-discipline to “limit” one’s judgemental nature. What causes people to want to critic everything?
David Hoggins once said that a person should never talk about overtraining when they have never trained. The gym, my friend once said that it is a battleground for men to showcase their masculinity against each other. And this is true. When you working out alone, it is easy to call it quits and head home. When you are working out with another male, even a friend, you will stay at the gym until your friend calls it quits. This competitive nature is natural and fun among friends. But that isn’t the case with strangers.
At the gym, you are likely to encounter three types of guys, if you are a male. Either you will meet the guy who works out daily and has the physique of Greek gods, or the guy who is probably half-way into their journey at the gym or lastly, the guy who used to work out 5 years ago and now is back to hit the weights. I’ve been always the second type of guy. The reason is I love food. I sometimes fall off my diet and ultimately, it will affect my performance at the gym. But being the second type, the guy who’s always half-way into his working out, gave me a vantage point to analyses this tendency of people to always comment on other’s lives.
The guy with the body of the gods, this guy as long as you not disturbing his work out, he’ll gladly help you. He will introduce you to better and effective workout routines, he will introduce to effective and enjoyable diet plans, this guy will help you achieve the correct form and technique in order to reap the most of your work out. The other guy, the returning soldier, he usually has nothing of value to say. He is the loudest and tells people how much he used to lift. He will tell you your technique is wrong and yet not be able to lift the amount of weights that you lifting. Remember, at the gym for males, it is a battle of testosterone. Thus falling short, this guy will then attempt to lift a weight higher than yours, in honour of his past days. And most likely, will fail at their attempt.
This one guy did this while working out with me. This guy is that guy who believes he is strong and is a self-taught martial artist. The funny thing is I myself am a self-taught martial artist in the practice of JKD (Bruce Lee’s Jeet Kune Do.) However, I went for extra lessons in MMA in order to broaden my skill set. Even since taking those lessons in MMA, my fighting skills have increased tremendously. I took my new learnt skills and told this guy about it. Because he saw himself superior to MMA, he decided he won’t train with me but rather spar with me. This is tantamount to old school Chinese Masters testing their martial arts against each other. He was testing me. It is safe to say, I beat him easily.
With this confidence, I asked my MMA instructor to spar with him. Blinded to think I now know it all. My instructor destroyed me in the first round. Here is the interesting part. When I defeated the guy who taught himself, he did not take the loss to the chin. He was all excuses. He blamed being out of shape (yet his 6 pack was as visible as day), he claimed the sun was in his eyes (forgetting that I was in the sun with him) and he even claimed that he wasn’t going a hundred percent and held back during the fight. He missed the fundamental point that he is not that good. Who, in a street fight or even in the UFC, launches a flying kick as means of an attack?
My instructor, however, took his victory with honour. You’d think because he won and I indirectly disrespected him by challenging him as his student, he would be arrogant and boastful for his victory. Instead, he did not. He took me by the hand and took me through the whole fight. He revealed areas where I can improve. He highlighted key areas where I had the right move but executed the moves incorrectly. He did not have to say it but I knew that during our fight, he was holding back.
It is then I understood why successful people always say that learning is an unending process. Records state that Warren Buffet dedicates at least 5 hours a day to reading. Elon Musk, it is said, he reads between 4 to 8 books a week. The process of always learning allows the mind to be always open to new ideas, even those that we do not understand. The moment we close the door to learning, we no longer allow new information. Thus, we critic and judge based on the little we know, not realising that what we know is literally the sheer speck of ice dust on the iceberg.
The self-taught martial artist believed he knew all there is to his fighting method, thus when I tried to show him some basics to JKD and MMA, he refused. He said that I got lucky yet in the second encounter, I had him tapping out to an armbar. The refusal of unlearning and learning closes our minds. And so, to defend our limited views, we critic.
To lose weight faster, it is recommended to fast. Either full-blown periodical 24-hour fasting or intermittent fasting. There is nothing more effective in losing weight than fasting. I prefer intermittent fasting because I hardly if ever eat breakfast. This one time I was with a friend and we were in town. This whole time, she was talking about how she finds it difficult to lose weight. She mentioned she had tried most products that aid in weight loss. It was around 11 am and she said that she’s hungry. So we go into a restaurant to order take-out. I tell her that I’m on my diet and I’m fasting until 2 pm. Suddenly, she goes berserk and begins to reprimand me. She begins describing the importance of breakfast and all that good stuff. And yet, between us two, I am the one who moved from being obese to being normal (according to BMI calculations) and she was and is still in the overweight region.
Yes, the importance of breakfast cannot be underestimated. Bodybuilders do not miss their breakfast and their muscles speak for themselves. Dr Eric Berg said that in weight management, a source is only credible if they can prove results. When I look at how big I was and how I am now, I can advocate for intermittent fasting as an effective tool for weight loss. My friends who gained incredible amounts of muscle mass without using steroids can attest to the importance of having constant meals in the day. The un-credible source, the one who talks of weight loss yet is still overweight, is quick to criticise and defend their ways that unfortunately, do not work.
The same habit is seen in wealth creation. For most of us, our parents are not millionaires. In middle-class families, it is possible that the overall net-worth of the parents do go over a million. Yet these parents have never had a million rand cash in their bank balance. If they do, it is usually in the form of retirement money that needs to sustain them for the remainder of their living years. For us in small towns, millionaires are old White farmers, Indian industrialists and some Black businessmen in retail and hospitality. The sad part is that most of these millionaires do not even live in town. They live in the cities.
Thus, to learn to become a millionaire, we resort to books and YouTube videos. We digest as much as we can about how to make a million and what it takes to keep the million. Obviously what we learn is very much in the opposite direction to what our parents know. Our parents, most of them, teach us to go to school, get an education, get a job and live life on credit. And many people do so. The rich, from what we learn from the books and their seminars, they say go to school, get an education and don’t stop learning, build a business and only get credit to acquire an asset that will generate you an income.
Thus, when discussing wealth creation principles with most people, because most do not understand wealth creation, they are quick to defend their façade. I personally have a problem with people who willingly get a phone on credit. I fail to understand why would a person want to tie himself or herself to debt to finance a cell phone. A golden principle of credit, if it isn’t generating an income it is not meant to be purchased on credit. The key thing that I find disturbing is that you will find people who will judge you based on this. A guy I know once told me that he only dates girls with an iPhone because he has an iPhone- that he bought on credit. He would look down on any person who had a different phone. And mind you, we were both low-level restaurant managers at the time.
Criticism of others comes from ignorance. I told my mom once that I see absolutely no need to have a clothing account. I am not in the entertainment industry nor do I foresee myself making an income from clothing. She went on to tell me why I need such an account and so forth. In my response, I told her about the golden principle on credit. A principle I learnt from Ray Dalio, one of the most successful hedge fund managers of all time. I told her that if I need clothes, I’ll just put money aside and buy clothes when I need them. Like any defeated adult, she went to tell me I am young and that I know nothing about money. So here you have a situation where a middle-income citizen is critiquing and shaming the advice of a multi-billion investor simply because it goes against what she knows about wealth creation.
We cannot blame our parents when it comes to wealth. They come from a time where such knowledge was exclusively reserved for the very few. Most of our black parents advocate being a teacher or nurse because those where the professions they knew led to a safe and comfortable life. Even Afrikaans mense have a similar mindset. With us, black folk, it's more go to school, get an education, get a job, get married and settle down. With Afrikaans mense, it's more go to school, get a matric (because their parents went conscripted into the army after matric), get a job, get married and settle down. Knowledge of wealth creation was limited to a very few individuals in South Africa. Thus this is one of the reasons that the inequality in our country is so wide. The knowledge of wealth creation was limited to a few while the masses continued living the way they were told.
Ignorance is the unwillingness to learn new things. Shows like Date My Family and Come Dine With Me showcase man’s tendency to judge others. It is common to watch a contestant on Come Dine With Me critic another person’s cooking. In fact, the show is based on this fact. Yet, if you not a chef or a professional cook yourself, who are you to judge the next person’s food? There was an episode where this one woman said that her steak wasn’t cooked properly. It was “raw”. According to the host, he preferred his meat medium and so, prepared all the steaks medium. Ignorance, in this case, takes two forms.
The first form comes with the woman. To her, a good steak must be cooked through. It must have no redness inside. Thus, it must be well-done. To her, any meat that’s cooked otherwise is raw. The sad part, this woman didn’t know that meat can be prepared rare, medium-rare or medium. Thus her one-dimensional outlook to meat limited her to comprehend and understand new ways to prepare and enjoy meat. If the window to learn were to open, she would have had the meat medium with no critic. Based on her new knowledge, she would have been in a better position to decide in what way she prefers her meat prepared. Thus she would not have critiqued the food with the defence that her meat preference must be cooked through and not be “raw”. The other contestant who knew meat can be cooked medium and such offered a much more informed criticism on the steak. He explained how the meat was delicious and how the meat was well seasoned. He only did not like the meat medium because he prefers the meat well-done but appreciated the skill that host displayed to prepare the meat.
The second form of ignorance comes from the host. He prepared medium steaks for all. That was his reality and thus, that must be the reality that others live as well. When the woman asked that her meat be re-cooked, he made a joke and told her that he’ll gladly go “kill the meat”. After the meal, he realised that the other contestant did not finish the meat and he made a remark that people don’t know what good meat is. This ignorance tells you of his closed-mindedness to learn the preferences that other people in regards to meat. His closed-mindedness is exactly the same as the lady who didn’t know meat can be medium. Unlike the lady who is unwilling to learn, he believes he knows it all.
When Jesus said before you can remove the speck in your brother’s eye you have to remove the log in your own I believe He was alluding to this. One cannot tell another person is overweight while eating the fourth burger of the day. One cannot tell a person how to create wealth yet that person is the type that lives for a paycheck. Once a person understands that they live for a paycheck, the log in their eye will fall and thus they will see clearly in the road to wealth. Once a person realises that they are overweight, the log in their eye will fall and thus the gym will be inviting to them. Once the scales that seal our willingness to learn are broken down, only then can we offer positive criticism to the next man. Once we work towards being a credible source, meaning we can attest what we say from experience, we move into a better position to remove the speck in our brother’s eyes.
The ignorance of knowing it all and the ignorance of not knowing it at all is the primary reason we people are quick to judge. It is true that first impressions count. However, if we stick to first impressions, we will not be in a position to understand and learn more about a person. If we didn’t know Bill Gates or the CEO of Google or any of these tech gurus, chances are we would pass them quickly if we happen to pass them in the streets. Because they dress very unassuming. Yet that guy who is driving a GTI with an iPhone and designer clothes all bought on credit would probably make a powerful first impression. Yet the moment, one befriends them, we quickly learn that it’s all a façade and they as broke as they come.
It is tricky nature that we have as humans to judge. Indeed this nature protects us. Removing the ignorance that cloaks our minds can help us to judge better, and thus enable us to make better-informed decisions. If one spends enough time learning body language, wealth creation and so forth, the broke GTI driver will not easily fool you. In fact, you will begin to realise that Naidoo with his offseason Puma sneakers probably has more in his bank account that Jacque with his Hilux. By reading more and learning more on human nature, as a female, you’ll be to judge the intentions of man better and avoid giving your heart to dead-beat nobody. As a male, by reading and learning more on human nature, you’ll be able to avoid female parasites that will drain your life. This ability though to make our judgemental nature to work in our favours requires a life-long dedication to unlearning and learning.
The removal of ignorance is near impossible. Ignorance leads to misinformed decisions. Ignorance is the fuel that ignites the bad side of human’s tendency to judge. Like how fear can keep you alive in intense situations, the discernment spirit that guides our judgemental minds help us make a decision that ultimately shapes the course of our lives. Like sunscreen is able to reduce the harmful rays of the sun, by learning more and being more open-minded, we reduce the effects of ignorance. This reduction enables us to make better and well-informed decisions. The ability to make decisions that are more educated not only helps us to live a better quality life, but also to enjoy it.
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