What does life mean to you? Is this a question that you have asked yourself lately? I mean, we live in a world where anyone can really make a living off being just themselves. How is it then we still find it difficult to be ourselves?
This question stems from a myriad of thoughts that would usually cross my mind. The latest one is individuals who speed in the morning. Yes, maybe some have a genuine reason why they are driving at high speeds early in the morning. Maybe some come from a 12-hour work shift and simply cannot wait to reach home to hug their children before they go to school. You know, one would believe that some individuals are driving at high speeds for a valid reason.
But deep in my heart, I know that for the majority of these F1 driver wanna-bes, that’s not the case. Most of them are merely rushing to work. Some do so even in the company car that they work for. I always ask myself, why would one drive at 120 per hour (sometimes higher) in the slow lane just to arrive at work? Why would a person skip the robots, and endanger people's lives merely to save time to reach work? Then it hit me.
Their work has replaced their lives. Without their work, they are nothing. When they asked the judgemental prying question, ‘what do you do for a living’, they proudly announce their title. Thus, their lives have been replaced by the work they do. They have become a chainless slave tied to the confinements of their employment.
And like a good slave, they will do everything they can to please their master. I mean, don’t get me wrong. If you love your job great. But outside your job, who are you? Outside the confinements of your place of employment, how do you identify yourself? What gives you life?
Indeed most people can answer this question. Some will say what gives me life is music. Others might say it is spending time with family and friends. Others might even say it is eating delicious food from various cultures. In most cases, that is the true self that represents the true you.
However, it is difficult to allow this truth to live because of the way the world is set. it is still weird for a person to make money merely by eating food. What I mean is, the society we live in has normalised being in an office, with no sun, for 8 hours, 5 days a week and has made it an anomaly for someone to live their lives the way they see fit and still make a living. And the sad reality is that in our South African economy, having a job is also becoming an anomaly in itself.
It is when you sit back and realise that we humans are social creatures. We survive in packs. And so, we need to fit in a pack in order to be part of it. So, if your friends are A-list food influencers, they will not find it weird to take a picture of their meals every time they eat. They will not find it weird for a brand to pay them handsome amounts of money for a single post on Instagram. This is a reality that they are used to.
And through the power of influence, who you spend your time with will most likely influence what life means to you. If you spend time with people who have an employee mindset, most probably you will never begin that YouTube channel. You will most probably never start that podcast. You will most probably never pursue that dream to learn a new skill. Because individuals with an employee mindset are the ones who race to their barless prisons in the morning.
What life means to you is greatly influenced by the company you keep. The power of influence is one that most of us do not fully respect. And rightfully so. If I wake up, go to work, never get sun, come back to my place of residence, eat and sleep and all my friends are doing this, this social pack will accept this reality as the way life should be. And within this pack, we will motivate each other with statements like, “keep working and save for retirement”, “at least the end of the month is a week from now” or some employee-driven statement of that nature.
However, if you are with an influencer most probably they won’t say something such as wait for the end of the month to get paid. They probably will mention creating more content for the agent to use to get more brand deals. They will probably mention the importance of attending some networking seminar where there will be potential execs who might be interested to partner with them. The social pack of the influencer will influence its members to always think in terms of content and getting brand deals in order for them to make a living.
It is the individual with the employee mindset who is worried about what people will say about them. They are worried about the three or four friends who will judge them. And obviously, they will judge them because if they dare start speaking of getting brand deals instead of waiting for the end of the month, they are speaking a narrative that is not conducive to the survival of the pack. Those content with the employee mindset will try to drag them back to their level of comfort.
And that’s exactly where the danger is. If someone tells you that they cannot begin a YouTube channel because they fear being seen or being judged, someone who believes the same will validate this person. They will confirm their belief and so, they will be comfortable with it. However, if they were to discuss such a belief with a successful YouTuber, the Youtuber will denounce that belief and prove to that person that the belief is wrong. And so, the person will be uncomfortable because what they believe to be true turned out to be a lie.
Thus this individual will be left with two choices. Either they will find a way to deal with the uncomfortable truth that they are wrong. Or, they will be offended and further create narratives in their minds to find some truth in their belief. That will be their decision to make.
What will be sad is if the individual actually desired to have a YouTube channel but created a narrative that validates that it is not for them. Many of us end up in this dangerous pit of comfort. We find ourselves desiring to be someone or to be something that is outside the confines of our social structures. And because we fear the judgement and possible isolation from our social packs, we tend to give up on our dreams.
Kevin Hart once said that he would it interesting that the people who would say he is funny, when he told them that he is deciding to pursue comedy full-time, they started turning around and filling him with doubt. They started questioning him if he will really make it. Simply because they were not comedians nor did they know any successful comedian personally.
That which people judge the most, it is that they desire the most. If a middle aged woman judges a young woman who lives her life freely without a worry in the world, it could be that deep in their heart, the middle-aged woman desires a similar life. It could be that she desires the opportunity to escape the pressures of being an adult and enjoy life like the young girl.
If the young man judges middle-aged men who are the blessers at clubs with the most beautiful women and drive expensive German cars, it could be that the young man desires the same life as the middle-aged blesser. There is no place in this world for a man who has no status and when you are fresh from high school, living off less than R1000 and going to the varsity in the city, it is easy for the young man to feel insignificant and worthless. Thus it is alluring to most young men to be like the blessers they see in clubs.
Instead of shying away from the feeling, it would be wise to understand why the feeling is there in the first place. If you are envious of a young Amapiano artist or you secretly admire a successful businesswoman or businessman, there is truth about yourself in those emotions. It could be a desire to be free. It could be the desire to be bold and courageous. It could be the freedom of full confidence in yourself that these successful people display.
This is an emotion you cannot discuss with your primary social circle. If in your primary social circle, you are all employees, then chances are all of you are merely dreaming about escaping employment. Unless one of your friends has escaped employment and found success in self, this is the friend to discuss the emotions with.
At the end of the day, I believe that all of us know that we have more important lives than reporting at work. I believe that humans have an embedded code in them that wakes them up in the morning. It is unfortunate that most of us have drowned this emotion with servitude to our employment.
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