Met you in 2011 as the lady with the sweet voice. I was behind the counter, selling overpriced chips and sweets. Low in confidence, all I could do is but marvel at your beauty. Your hazel eyes patiently waiting for my response. Frozen and struck dumb by the smoothness and texture of your palm as you passed me the R5 coin for your sweets; that’s the moment I believed in love at first sight.
Not knowing the game and its rules, your first impression of me was that of a that guy loves Ed, Edd, 'n Eddy. A weirdo from a town named Harrismith. That yes, I was new to this school as you were too. I believe it was fate that in the small town named Kestell I would find the woman I love.
But young and foolish I was, I did not believe I was inlove. My closet friends noticed the change in my step. The bounce in my walk, the attention I gave to my talk. They say I had become a new man. Little did they know I had met a new woman.
Before you, there was one that I loved. My first love. She is as beautiful today as she was when I first saw her in 2008. But confused and young I was, that ship sunk to the depths. The why I do not know. The how I have forgotten. But the impact I forever will remember. It threw me into Davy Jones Locker. A place worse than hell.
Secluded and trapped within Kid Cudi’s music I become a loner. A rude, arrogant, speck of waste material because of the hurt in my heart. But when I saw you and heard your sweet voice, it was like your voice was the key to unleash the heavenly bodies to free me from the clutches I was in. For the longest I time I fought along with the demons and not against them. You were sent to save me.
It is only natural that a person’s love and patience to wear thin. And yes, some years were not the best. Some events still as vivid as they happened. But your love towards me has been so strong, I could gather all the strength in me to say the words I forgive you; the words I love you. Realising this now, I finally see the fact that there were no demons holding me. It was only I who held myself back from fully experiencing that love you were gracing me with.
A fool I was. The acts I committed shameful and not worthy of a man who is seeking the rightful badge of honor. Most of the acts gave you the clear passage to leave. But you never did. I realised that we men have a tendency to point out the woman’s fault when ours are hundred fold worse. But what staggers me is that even though I have done what I have done and taken your heart and made confetti with it, you still remained and still look me into the eyes and say: I love you.
It is upon this anniversary I write this. This anniversary that is dateless but foundered around these times in the winter that love will burn strong. That even though we have been together since 2011, it still feels like 22 Jan of that year. I know so much of you but your love ever so warm and true like the sun, it can never grow old. I have broke your heart by being a weak insolent boy. I have broken your heart by introducing other women in our love. I have broken your heart for not being there when you needed me most. But even among all these atrocities and acts of disrespect; your touch is still warm to my face, your voice is still sweet to my ears; your love is still rich in my heart.
(Written: 19 May 2016)