Can You REALLY Dress For Success?

“Success attracts riches and riches attract success.”

That’s a quote I heard from a billionaire German entrepreneur. He explained how when he started becoming more successful, the richer he became. And the richer he became, the more successful he became.

One could argue that this is the dualism of capitalism. This way, some people can be rich without seeming to have any talent because their riches came from some form of success. I think of the Hawk Tuah girl who became a viral sensation and, with that sensation, was able to attain millions of dollars. The success of a TikTok video enabled her to reap riches many will never attain.

The flipside of the coin is also true. There are those who are successful because they are rich. People like Bill Gates, Warren Buffet and Elon Musk come from wealthy families. Therefore, it was somewhat a given that they would find success.

Success and wealth are two sides of one coin. And with this in mind, I tried to crack the code. I want to be rich. But I am not successful. Success for me is financial and personal freedom. I do not enjoy this success because I am not rich. Then it hit me.

At the end of the day, the mind creates the reality that we desire. As I sat and thought about the dualism of this coin, I decided to focus on one side of the coin: the success side. I cannot focus on the rich side. I do not have those riches. And many who have attained riches do not necessarily come from riches either. But they found success first.

The first person that came to mind was 50 Cent. The reason for this is because he once famously said the following:

He said that if you stop at a red light by a stop, and a Ferrari stops besides you, and you ask the Ferrari driver to open their window, but you are in a regular car, chances are the Ferrari driver will not roll their window for you. Simply because the Ferrari owner will look at your car and think that you are not worth his time.

Now, he continued, take the same situation, but this time, instead of you being in a regular car, you are now in a Lamborghini. This time around, there is a higher chance that the Ferrari owner might roll down the window because he will perceive you to be of value.

This is powerful coming from someone like 50 Cent, who, when he started, was a hardcore street gangster. As he got exposed to the behind the scenes of the music industry, only then did he become the 50 Cent that we know today, the suit-wearing Curtis Jackson.

I have heard both on social media and in real life people tell me that the moment they started dressing a certain way, they began receiving a certain level of respect that they never got before.

Personally, I saw this in university. In my first year, I would wear my dad’s old chino pants. On top of that, I’d wear All Stars and golf shirts. I was basically dressed like le Pantsula, to be honest. More like a hood Pantsula than a stylish Pantsula – as we see with Amapiano artists. If not that, I’d wear shirts I got for free. From the promos I worked for or random political shirts. The way I presented myself was the last thing on my mind.

And you probably guessed it. Dressed like this, I got zero dates. There was not a single girl that found me attractive. And I paid no mind to it because I was in a relationship at the time anyway. But that relationship ended. So now I had to get back in the dating pool.

There’s one girl who stands out for me. I asked her out after my relationship ended in my first year. She rejected me. Never even gave me her number. She outright rejected me. This rejection did sting because I liked her. Then, I did the Mirror Exercise.

I looked at myself in the mirror. I was not happy with what I saw. I saw this chubby guy with no muscles, just fat. I saw a guy who looked like he is a peasant when his parents treated me like a young prince. My skin looked like the back of a crocodile, and I had no scent I’d call mine. What I saw that day led me to a transformation that changed my very core.

I began working out, religiously, from Monday to Saturday, with 2 three three-hour sessions Monday to Friday and one 2 hour session on Saturday. Luckily for me, I had a bursary that gave me an allowance. I vividly remember the two trips I took to Mr. Price for a total wardrobe overall. At the time, I did not have a car, and there were no taxis that could commute from my neighbourhood to town. So on the first day at Mr. Price I bought tops and jerseys. The second day just various pants, from chinos to jeans. I took the transformation very seriously because I was genuinely not happy with the man I saw in that mirror.

I really took this seriously. I even began going for weekly facials and buying quality skin care products. After about two years with the renewed mindset, I saw the girl I approached in my first year again. This time, my confidence was higher. I felt good. I looked good. I smelt good. One could argue that I was at the prime of early adulthood. This time around, she did not reject me.

That experience continues today to remind me about the importance of how one looks. So it leads back to the opening quote of this post and the scenario painted by 50 Cent. If one looks like success, can they attract the attention of success? Therein, the riches too?

And I believe it can. If a man is wearing a Rolex watch and the other one is wearing a Casio they bought at Game, it is the man with the Rolex watch who will be given top priority. A king’s step can be heard a mile away, while a peasant can walk by you unnoticed.

If you look at the animal kingdom, the lion with the loudest roar and the thickest mane is the one who rules the pride. The bird with the prettiest feathers who sings the loudest and sweetest is the one who attracts the females. How one is presented has an impact on how one is perceived.

A gent can walk by with a suit he bought from Edgars. But if a gent alongside him wears a bespoke suit, he will be invisible. I saw this in real-time in a Kevin Hart event that was held at Vodacom World. You could visibly see the social classes of individuals at that event. The lower level manager wore a suit he probably bought three years ago that he wears for such events. Yet the high-level managers, the Chief Marketing Officers and such, wore bespoke suits that complimented their bodies perfectly. Whether they were chubby or skinny, the designer clothing they wore suited them perfectly.

Yet, when I think about this, I have this nagging feeling. I have this reluctance to commit to a second transformation. It took me a while to realise what it was. But I discovered it when I interrogated my interactions with people around me.

I am a big believer that if you spend time with 5 kings, you’ll be the 6th. Birds of the same feather flock together. I am a big believer in the power of influence from the interactions with people you have around you. With this in mind, I interrogated my interactions with those around me, especially my friends. It is there that I found what this nagging feeling is.

Comfort. The biggest killer of dreams. Comfort was the nagging feeling. I sat back and objectively analysed my friends. They are comfortable. I have a friend who, when we were younger, used to speak of becoming millionaires and travelling the world. Now, the same friend tells me that he is content with a dead-end job and that one day, millions will flow his way. Even though he says this, his actions suggest otherwise.

I have friends who are comfortable being stuck in the middle class. They speak of driving sports cars and cars driven by celebrities, yet their actions are that of a middle-class citizen. You know, the work until I’m 65 years old just to afford a second-hand Mercedes Benz C200.

They speak the millionaire mindset but live with an employee mindset. And I allowed myself to fall victim to the same level of comfort. So now that I acknowledge this mindset, the spores of this nagging feeling are a sense of worry and fear.

What is going to happen when I begin my transformation process? Obviously, I am going to say no to many of my friends' requests. I am going to gravitate to a life that they do not live. Like, I understand that for one, I need to get more quality suits, for instance. My friends do not wear suits. My friends enjoy braaing chuck meat and such. For them, chuck meat is king. I have nothing against that, but I am teaching my palate to appreciate finer foods in life. Like, I’m teaching my palate to understand why a properly prepared filet mignon is actually the true king of steaks.

I recently had a debate with my friend about the same topic. We were at Spur, and I was telling him that personally I do not like Spur, but because it is the only place we can hang out as friends, I can tolerate it. What’s going to happen as I switch to a zero tolerance to the standards that will define my life?

After being in a polyamorous relationship, I swing back and forth between whether I will have a monogamous marriage or one that is polyamorous. No one in my life, except my father’s grandfather, was married to two women. You see, I am in this state where I fear the consequences of the transformation. I fear that it will lead to somewhat of an isolation.

This isolation, I fear. I ask myself if it is worth it. But in my heart of hearts, I know it is. In this capitalist world we live in, it is that only money is what I want. I have learnt that money solves 99% of all one’s problems. Money allowed me to upgrade from a low-quality Avon cologne to a Ralph Lauren one. And the moment I wore this Ralph Lauren one, not only did I become more “handsome”, but I commanded more respect from my peers.

It is a loose example, but the truth is that money is the sweet nectar of the gods that makes life more pleasurable. It took me backing out of the Church to learn that the love of money is not the root of evil. Poverty is. Crime is higher and more violent in Alex than it is in Sandton.

Money can allow you to buy quality food that is good for your health, while poverty will have you buying low-quality food that kills you slowly. Yes, the rich may get obese and develop obese related diseases, but their deep bank accounts will also provide them with the best healthcare available.

When I remove the scales of a very traditional Christian background, I realise that the love of money is really not a sin. It’s a necessity. It’s a necessity like the love of food. And it is with this in mind that I tell myself that, yes, to undergo this transformation once more is totally worth it.

I want a G Wagon, and I want it now. Most people are comfortable with the thought that they will never afford a G Wagon. And to protect themselves from self-criticism, they create false narratives about those who can afford a G Wagon. It is like the church girl who judges the Insta Baddie. She is quick to judge their lives because she envies them.

The same with guys. They will be quick to judge these girls, too. Talk about how they just want money and that narrative. Yet when they get some money, that 13th cheque for instance, they are the ones who are popping bottles at the club- to attract the very same Insta Baddies they were judging.

You see, the cure of comfort and to be able to break through its heavy chains is to be brutally honest with oneself. And not in a degrading way. Not in a way that brings you down. And trust me, this can take many forms. One form is pure negative. The other rests in comfort itself.

For instance, let’s say you want to lose weight. A purely negative way is to call yourself mean names in the hope that it’ll motivate you. It probably won’t. Remember, the subconscious mind, where we create our lives, does not know a joke. So you calling yourself fat, that is you actually stamping that reality in your mind and therefore onto your life.

The second is through comfort itself. You can see that you want to lose weight. But you look at your friends and realise that they are chubby too. So, why lose weight? Why be different? Or perhaps your girlfriend tells you that you look handsome with some extra weight. So why change it? Yet, you know, when you look in the mirror, there’s a better version of you resting, waiting to be sculpted.

And that’s where being brutally honest with yourself, in a positive way, can break that comfort. It will help to have a goal so to be positively honest with yourself. Because now, you can see the extra weight in the mirror but now that this weight can be reduced to attain certain goal.

And if your friends leave you or judge you as you enter this transformation, it simply means they were not your friends to begin with. It is the Lord protecting you from influences that are deterring you from living your life the way it was designed to be.

And when I think of this, I realise that, indeed, there is nothing to fear. There is no reason to fear being isolated from my social circles. Those that remain are true to me, and those who leave, I give thanks to the Lord for showing them the exit.

Because, at the end of the day, we only have one life. How do you want to live it? More importantly, how do you want to end it? In the pain of “I wish I did”? Or in the pleasure of “I’m glad I did”? That is for you to decide.