Conversations.

Let’s sit and try to understand what’s happening.

Your mind is experiencing the fifth dimension. A state that people call enlightenment. It is happening at an accelerated rate that you cannot comprehend what’s happening. So, the “universe” is literally manifesting in you. The “problem” is that it is not happening the way you thought it would. Hence it feels rather odd. But it is happening.

Are you asking how? By letting Tshidi go. You have experienced the rotten effect of love. This was the first of the happenings of your enlightenment. Having experienced the rotten fruits of love, your heart can now appreciate the healthier options.

Many, probably all humans, have experienced this that you are experiencing. Yet most do not consciously break down what’s happening and miss this wonderful moment. At this moment, you are literally understanding why Love is love.

But it’s not so easy to understand. Why in the depth of my heart do I feel- unfulfilled? I feel like I’m cheating myself in life.

Well, you are. A practical example is Sneh. If you were to be asked, what’s stopping you from approaching her? What would you say?

As you had the epiphany earlier, the truth sets you free and deception locks you in. So, by falsely planting thoughts in your head then logic, the order of things will take hold.

The next lethal crime you commit against yourself is living in someone else’s experience. Why would you in the first place? The life you live is for you to live. Not for the next man or the next woman. This is your existence to enjoy. There is no such thing as doing wrong. You are merely experiencing the life you have been blessed with. However, never forget that God is not mocked, you will reap what you sow.

The underlying hindrance to you accepting this truth is that you have allowed much of your existence to be created by someone else. That is not the problem. The problem is undermining the truth revealed to you as being inferior or as nonsense because someone else, usually someone you respect, regards it as nonsense. This will be the cause of your death.

So, what are you really telling me? I seem not to be able to consume this food for thought.

Well, you have. A mother gives birth only after months the baby has formed in her womb. You can only see a million only when you have seen a thousand. Taking the analogies together, the knowledge you have consumed will be digested later. The knowledge is planted in you. Seeded into you but you’ll see its fruits later. Until then, you must not stop cultivating the knowledge.

How you ask? By allowing yourself to BE. Nothing wrong with reading a good book, or watching a good movie. But that is merely second-hand knowledge. It is not your own. So, you can believe to be cultivating knowledge from that.

Cultivating knowledge comes you doing what you love – creatively. Like making a beat only your mind understands. Looking at a tree waiting for it to talk with you. Writing in this form. This is cultivating knowledge. By having creativity, you are cultivating knowledge. This is allowing the Creator that made you to live. Through this, you will know knowledge.

Then what about Sneh? The fortunes that wait for me? With the abundance of this knowledge, how is it that I feel I’m not making progress?

Simply because you believe all communication comes from words and material, tangible things. That understanding comes from understanding that you can read and write. Words, as being observed by billions, are the most ineffective method of communication. Hence you not listening. The “words” merely travel in your mind without really registering.

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Quite the thing I found myself engaged in.

Thinking of? The same old same old? Let’s begin there.

Thinking of the same old same old will obviously let you live in the life of the same old, same old. New thoughts bring new life.

Again, that sounds easier said than done. You know, today I was with Junction. He spoke about utilising your talent to succeed. It is because I’m ignorant of mine that I can not understand why doors keep on closing? It feels like those doors are sealed with reinforced padlocks and concrete bars. Why must it be so?

It isn’t. Your talent and gifts are already at your disposal. You believe that God is in everything. That He is everything. When Junction spoke those words, it was like an alarm went off. Like the words brought clarity to the confusion of wealth and how to get it. Those words were carried on the waves of greater modes of communication that enable you to listen.

Asking yourself what your calling is when every day you exercise it makes you not see it. Everyday you find yourself doing your best to unravel the fabrics of the universe to the next man. You think you must experience the epiphany in a grand manner. No. Continuously, the messages about your future and your purpose are being told to you momentously each and every day of your existence.

The how-tos of how to unlock your fortunes are written in everything. Everything you see and engage with has the codes to unlock your fortunes. It is truly that easy to know your purpose in life. Just pay attention to what you doing most of your time in a day. For your Self, that’s how it gets to be free. What is it for Self to be alive? It is to be in tune with the world at large, creatively.

Understanding this one also understands that whatever that wants to be free will, by all means, seek freedom. This applies to your Self. Any chance that it must expose itself and be alive, it will grab on that opportunity. It goes back to what Jesus said when he told the lady by the well that if she were to drink from His cup, she will thirst no more. Giving off, or rather, letting your soul indulge in what it enjoys, only then will you attain the secrets that lay in your heart. But remember, God is not mocked; you reap what you sow.

Already I can hear you drowning in what I’m telling you. Same old thinking, same old living. Ancient knowledge manifests in the very life you live.

I can also hear the silent prayer with a Joseph Prince accent asking how do you change it. Goes back to that you already know. Protect your mind. Literally. Take note of everything, absolutely everything you allow in your mind. These serve as the sources of your thinking processes. Subtly some messages settle in your mind. This is knowledge only you know and I can only go within the scope of what you already know.

Yes, it is true. The information and knowledge I do know. But how do I apply it? I have read many books, articles, and various materials explaining how. Speak with enthusiasm whatever you want in the world! Pray earnestly and sincerely until something happens. Have faith even as small as a mustard seed that what you believe will come through. All these methods and teachings I have tried them all. But I still do not see the fruits of them.

I used to believe with absolutely all I am, that by age 21 I will be a millionaire. I said the words. I acted accordingly. I believed and had faith as large as a rock! I am now 23 and still nothing.

Yes, but you forgot to mention one aspect of all this. You did not persevere. You threw the dream out the window when the going got tough. Which isn’t a crime. But a pivotal lesson that you had the privilege to experience firsthand without the regurgitation of someone else’s experience.

Mind if I tell you a story?

There was this young man. A young man with immense knowledge and quite a bit of wisdom for his young age. This wisdom he could never quite apply in his life, however. He always knew what to do and how to do it but never could. The few times he did, the results were not satisfactory. The plans he would implement would always backfire. Shoot back at him. So now this young man stays in the shadows. Does absolutely everything he can so not to be noticed. He believes he works like a puppet master. He is never to be seen but surely his presence is felt. So, he believes.

Well, what he believes is misalignment to his truth, and let me explain why. A puppet master is one who is like Michael Corleone. Not your regular two-bit thug or mastermind. From this story of this young man, he has created the illusion with which he is comfortable. He does not realise that this is the draining effect that is literally preventing him from living life.

Also, from the story, one can gather that indeed he is not one to be under the spotlight. That he doesn’t want any attention. Whether to be successful or suffer from an incurable disease, this young man will never let the world know. For he does not like being known. And truth is that this is not the crime. The crime is the fact he believes that by being in the shadows he will have life. Remember, Jesus was captured in the dark of night but died in the light of day.

But how? How can he possibly not be in the shadows when in the shadows he has created his life?

By living. Yes, this young man is not one to publicly showcase himself to the world. He is not one to be a spectacle for the world to know. He has on various occasions, being in some forms of weaknesses, realised how pitiful his existence is. How pitiful the life that he created in the shadows. In those moments of realisation he saw his own death manifest into being. In those moments, he also found chards of loving light that graced him.

Now that you and your “infinite wisdom” have ruined the story and exposed that the boy is me then you should know all that you telling me I already know.

I know. I’m merely reminding you that you know.

What makes me mad is how you look for justifications in order to justify the life you live. The life you find yourself unhappy with. The key question I want to ask you is why? Knowing all this information, knowing the how-tos and how-not-tos, why do you keep yourself hidden? And not like a gem waiting to be discovered but hidden like a mole in the ground.

I do not know. Maybe I do not have faith in my abilities anymore. Maybe I have so many rules and regulations about my life that they have blinded me from being alive.

You wrote in one of your journals, “unlike Death, Life has rules.” If life was rule-less then, man would have his absolute way. Life must have rules. For even God has rules. He abides by them. One rule as such is that He will not interfere with man’s will.

Hmm.

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The whole power of the universe is localised and concentrated in that you specialise in. In what you say is your talent and ability. Now there it is concentrated. The whole force and grandeur of the entire universe will manifest itself in you in what you call your talent. Understand just how powerful a human you are? This is what you hold back each and every time you do not express yourself freely and creatively. To do so is not knowledge that only the Ancient knew. And even so, the Ancients did a great job at preserving this knowledge so you, the new generation, will learn and build on this knowledge.

What you said is so deep. But I feel it only will remain within the scope of our conversations. That I will not live this you tell me. I will not approach Sneh. As powerful these words are like the rays of the sun at its zenith, I will still dwell in the shadows where I find comfort.

The why has been asked so it is pointless to revisit the question. However, this is where the power of choice steps in. The one realm that even God does not interfere. You can choose not to apply this that you already know. So to remain in this existence you call your life. Which you are not happy with and won’t find happiness.

Or you can wise up. You can indeed allow this knowledge to take over your life. You allow it to rewire your thinking process. You can allow it to rest the clocks of your life. Reset to a time where you believe anything is possible like when you were 19 believing you’ll make a million by 21.

For my friend, desire is a cousin of frustration. Frustration occurs when the result you want does not come in that form. Or simply, when there is no certain change in the situation you are in. Desire is the process in which frustration is brewed.

However, there’s nothing wrong with desire. Like alcohol, when brewed correctly, the frustration developed from desire can be palatable. In fact, that frustration can be motivating. But desire, if left too long, the desire brews a strong unpalatable frustration.

It’s like sleep and death. You sleep and dream. In your dreams, you venture into another world. But only momentarily. Death, you venture into another world indefinitely.

I see.

Said the blind man.

It makes sense. I think understand what you are telling me. I want to change the channels in which my mind sets its thinking processes. And it begins with what I desire. I have left my desire to be with Sneh left unattended for so long that it has frustrated me. But in the same breath, the frustration from not having a million (which I desire) continues to propel me forward. It is just difficult to believe that the channels can change.

First do not think it is difficult. For it is not. As you discovered, things happen to the master plan of your life. The first and foremost step to take is to BE. This morning you had the urge to take your old bag. But suppressed the thought by looking for readily available justifications as to why you cannot take the bag. Day in and day out, these signals and messages always tell you the way forward. For they are written in a way to benefit the soul and not the physical. Even with something simple as taking an old torn bag, your soul knows it can do better.

So, I should discard conscious thinking? Reasoning and logic for what could be called gut feeling and instinct?

Yes.

Sorry, what?

Yes. Discard them. I tell you now if you trust your emotions and feelings a bit more and believe that they are messages from forces greater than you, you will surely live in the promised land.

So, what you telling me is to learn how I feel?

Yes. Not to be confused with being emotionally intelligent. Being emotionally intelligent is infusing logic and reasoning with emotions. It is like drinking a diluted soft drink. It is more delicious diluted. It does not carry its potency in its concentrated form.

Live by what you feel not by what you think. Allow yourself to digest the information and you will understand you have already found the happiness you seek.

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