Her look was sweet to him. She enchanted him with every step that she took. She was as beautiful as the stars at night. She was beautiful as the dunes of the sand lit by the desert sunset. Her beauty inspired him to seek creative ways to be better as a man. And yet, he never spoke with her.
Why was he afraid of her when he wanted her? Why was her beauty somewhat of an enigma to him when it presented itself every day to him? He looked into the mirror seeking to understand these puzzling questions. He did not want to grow and live an empty life. Much of his life would be made full by this one woman.
She was elegant for her age. She was head and shoulders above her age. She noticed the young man who would look at her in class. God bless him. He looked rugged. A bit overconfident but it was evident that the confidence was to mask his insecurities. He was not really good looking. He looked like the kind that his handsomeness will reveal itself once he started earning some money. The bands will help tie up some loose ends in his life. She could tell that he wasn’t on her level but there was something about him that she found interesting.
Feeling defeated, he walked to his single-room apartment in the backrooms of Phutas. Another day at school, another day he could not man up to approach the single woman who he felt attracted to. There was something magical about her. Something about her that was magnetic. Her clear white teeth when she smiled. The few moments when he sat close to her, he would lose track of time because her scent transcends through space and time. She was as beautiful as night. She was as beautiful as day. She was as beautiful as the heavens when heaven’s gate welcomed Christ back home. He felt tired of feeling defeated. He must have her.
The following day he woke up ready to pursue her. It was a Friday and they shared the last class together. He figured that he will approach her after class and hopefully, a spark might breed a fire between them. He decided to wear his favourite sneakers. A pair of white Air Jordans he bought 3 years ago while they were on sale. He pulled his favourite blue jeans and covered his torso in a black Polo shirt that was beginning to lose its colour. He threw the water in the vascom out into the drain of his kitchen sink. He passed the mirror. There stood a man filled with confidence to win over love.
He walked into the packed lecture hall with an extra bounce in his step. She was sitting in front when he walked in. She looked at him and giggled. Above his ear was the remains of soap that he forgot to remove. His hairline had a fine layer of soap residue as well. As he passed her, she realized that he was looking about in the lecture hall. She knew he was searching for her. She quickly searched for a non-existent item in her bag. Inasmuch he dressed slightly better today than most days, she was not ready to be confronted by the smell of cheap deodorant and counterfeit cologne.
He walked searching for his queen to be but did not see her. Slightly disappointed, he figured he will sit at the upper corner of the hall. This spot provided the best vantage point as you could see everyone who walked into the classroom. He sat there in disappointment. He could not find his queen in those that came in. He figured that she wasn’t coming to class given its Friday. The Friday class was a revision class. And so, he sunk into his seat and patiently waited for the two hours of class to come to an end.
Finally, two hours passed and the class was adjourned. As he got up, he saw her rise from the front row. His heart began to beat fast. Blood rushed through his body making it difficult for him to stand up. But he had to. He had to because he only wore those sneakers on special occasions. He had to stand up because he only wore his aged cologne when he had to impress. He had to stand up to prove to himself that he was man enough to make this woman his.
He got up and rushed for the exit. She left already but luckily for him, she was still in his sight. He could not run because he was in the public eye. The other students walking like ants to classrooms and to lecturer offices. He remained focused on the woman who was wearing the tight navy blue dress. That dress probably could buy him to two Retro Air Jordans. But no matter, he remained focused. He pressed on and pursued her. She reached the staff parking lot and he felt this was his opportunity. Four years of being captivated by this woman. Four years of dreaming of holding her by the waist and pulling her in for a kiss. Four years of love and lust motivating him to go to the gym to look more attractive her, finally after four years, he was about to hear her voice for the first time.
Overwhelmed with emotion he stood still for a while. She was a stone’s throw away. She looked at her phone. She was clearly waiting for something. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He envisioned the conversation and how it will go. He saw her giving him her phone to exchange numbers. The conversion ended with her ‘looking forward to when we can meet’. He saw himself going to the taxi rank victorious, have communicated with the woman of his desires. A smile cracked on his face and he let go a long breath of air. He savoured his vision a little longer and filled with readiness to approach her, opened his eyes.
His felt a sharp pain in his heart. So sharp he stumbled to one knee. He reached for his heart to check if he wasn’t having a heart attack. The woman of his dreams was in the arms of another man. She was smiling and feeling comfortable in the soft kisses given by the BMW driver. There she was. The woman who he spent four years building his masculinity for, embracing a man old enough to be her father.
Feeling defeated, he gave up on love.
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